Saturday, August 20, 2005

A grown-up woman: Is love for kids?

I think people imprint and it might have something to do with biochemical love. I think some people imprint a culture when they first really fall in love, and for the rest of their lives the kinds of clothing, food, music, houses and furnishings that were around them at that time will seem right, virtuous, homey. Maybe this nesting urge involves more than the clingy capture of the mate of choice.

Today I'll post twice, because I had already planned to come and transcribe a book passage, and the book is here on my typing stand, but I needed to work on a photoshop project and so while I was doctoring the shadows off of scanner art, I wanted to listen to something I wouldn't have to listen to very hard, and stuck in Abba Gold, a greatest hits CD.

SO! Here are song lyrics sneaking into my morning:

It was like shooting a sitting duck
A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck
I still don't know what you've done with me
A grown-up woman should never fall so easily
I feel a kind of fear
When I don't have you near
Unsatisfied, I skip my pride
I beg you dear...

(From "Lay All your Love on Me," by Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus)

Should grown-up women not fall so easily? Is it something people tend to outgrow, biochemically, or do they just become more logical and strong-minded and able to see it for the temporary state it is?


Susan said...

This is an old post, so not sure if you'll get this comment, but it's a really interesting topic and I just stumbled upon this post, so... I'm just wondering if, when speaking of love, if you're referring to that initial rush of feelings, that head-over-heels, butterflies-in-the-stomach sort of insatiable infatuation people get at first, which can last for weeks or months? In that case, I agree, it does fade but is (hopefully but not always) replaced with a different type of love, one that is not so pulse-raising but can be much more sustainable, possibly with a deeper connection and (for lack of a better word) more "mature". Some love relationships never make it past the first stage but fall flat (and sometimes very quickly). Others continue and develop into something else just as wonderful, if not better... and some have surges of that first stage of love again and again over time, it comes and goes, maybe never as strong as the first time but it reappears every so often. So if you're saying that love in all it's forms will fade and disappear eventually, I'll have to disagree - but I'm guessing you're talking strictly about that first biochemical rush. (But I could be wrong, it's been known to happen.)

Sandra Dodd said...

You're right that I'm talking about the biological "IN LOVE" that probably corresponds to building nests or digging dens in other species.