Saturday, August 20, 2005

"I just feel it in my guts."

On page 210 of About a Boy, by Nick Hornby, Nick is telling Marcus that he wants Rachel to be his girlfriend. Some is what he says, and some is what he thinks:
He wanted Rachel to be his wife, his lover, the centre of his whole world; a girlfriend implied that he would see her from time to time, that she would have some kind of independent existence away from him and he didn't want that at all.
. . . .
(Marcus:) "How do you know you want her to be your girlfriend?"

"I don't know. I just feel it in my guts." That was exactly where he felt it. He wasn't feeling it in his heart, or his head, or even his groin; it was in his guts. . . .

The whole chapter is about love, and how one knows, and what it feels like. Much of the rest of the book is, too.

A grown-up woman: Is love for kids?

I think people imprint and it might have something to do with biochemical love. I think some people imprint a culture when they first really fall in love, and for the rest of their lives the kinds of clothing, food, music, houses and furnishings that were around them at that time will seem right, virtuous, homey. Maybe this nesting urge involves more than the clingy capture of the mate of choice.

Today I'll post twice, because I had already planned to come and transcribe a book passage, and the book is here on my typing stand, but I needed to work on a photoshop project and so while I was doctoring the shadows off of scanner art, I wanted to listen to something I wouldn't have to listen to very hard, and stuck in Abba Gold, a greatest hits CD.

SO! Here are song lyrics sneaking into my morning:

It was like shooting a sitting duck
A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck
I still don't know what you've done with me
A grown-up woman should never fall so easily
I feel a kind of fear
When I don't have you near
Unsatisfied, I skip my pride
I beg you dear...

(From "Lay All your Love on Me," by Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus)

Should grown-up women not fall so easily? Is it something people tend to outgrow, biochemically, or do they just become more logical and strong-minded and able to see it for the temporary state it is?